From Groucho

"A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five."


"All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats."


"Before I speak, I have something important to say."


"Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife."


"I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up."


"I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."