Wolf's Jokes

A selection -

"She has the perfect last name for what she does, Conway ... You guys have got to stop putting Kellyanne on your shows. All she does is lie. If you don't give her a platform, she has nowhere to lie. It's like that old saying, if a tree falls in the woods, how do we get Kellyanne under that tree? I'm not suggesting she gets hurt. Just stuck. Stuck under a tree."

"10 years too young to host this event and 20 years too old for Roy Moore."

"It's 2018 and I'm a woman so you cannot shut me up. Unless you have Michael Cohen wire me $130,000."

"Of course, Trump isn't here, if you haven't noticed. He's not here. And I know, I know, I would drag him here myself, but it turns out the president of the United States is the one pussy you're not allowed to grab."

"Fox News is here. So you know what that means, ladies. Cover your drinks. Seriously. People want me to make fun of Sean Hannity tonight, but I cannot do that. This dinner is for journalists."

"Democrats are harder to make fun of because you guys don't do anything. People think you might flip the House and Senate this November, but you guys always find a way to mess it up. You're somehow going to lose by 12 points to a guy named Jeff Pedophile Nazi Doctor."