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Saturday, November 29, 2014

From Comedy Central

Q - What do you call a person who likes to hang out with musicians?
A - A drummer.

There was an old couple who hadn't celebrated Halloween in a long time, so they decided to dress up and go out.
The old woman stripped naked, and tied a string between her legs with a lemon at the end of the string.
Her husband yelled, "You can't go out like that!"
She replied, "I can go out as whatever I want, and so can you!"
He agreed. He took off all his clothes and tied a string to his penis with a potato at the end of the string.
His said, "You're going out as that?"
''Yes,'' said the old man. ''If you can go out as a sour-puss, I can go out as a dictator."

An old man enters a confessional and proudly exclaims, "Father, I have to tell you what happened to me last night. I'm 90 years old, and I made love to two 18-year-old women for eight hours!"
The stern priest replies, "That is a sin. I will have to give you a penance."
"Father, you can't give me a penance."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm Jewish."
The perplexed Father asks, "Then why are you telling me?"
"I'm telling everyone!"

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Woman says "for years I searched for my husband's killer. But I couldn't find anyone to do it."

Jim Sande said...

"A dyslexic man walks into a bra..."